A few years ago, I lost a very special friend of mine, Sandy. I recently saw some photos show up on my phone that reminded me of a very special memory with Sandy. We took a trip to the beach in May 2010. I had raptured my Achilles Tendon and didn’t know the full extent of that at the time. We had laughs, deep conversations, moments of peace and joy.
I am grateful for our friendship. I am grateful for the gift of who she is and the impact she had on my life. I joke that when I get to heaven, I have a bone to pick with her, that our friendship wasn’t until death do us part. In fact, my commitment and the impact after death has been more than I expected.
My friend, Julie did an interview with Sandy, not knowing Sandy would pass away soon after, about her perspective on our friendship. Piece of this interview have brough be great comfort since losing her.
During the interview, Sandy told Julie about her traumatic background and how she was on a dark road. A while back, Sandy was in an abusive situation and was drinking and doing drugs while raising her three children. Her daughter, Latoya, was going to the Agape Corner.
She told Julie about how I had come into her life and played a role in helping parent her three children. Sandy said that I was persistent in helping her and her family. She said, “I thank God she didn’t give up on me. I remember screaming at her and telling her to stay away. I would have given up on me.”
Sandy recalled, “One day, I was hungry. I had no food and I asked her for something to eat. Wendy said, ‘Okay if you want something to eat, you have to come to church with me and then I will take you to lunch’.”
At that time, Sandy had never been to church and was hesitant to go. She reluctantly agreed and we went to church. During the interview, Sandy recalled, “Something happened there. Wendy kept her word and we went to lunch afterward. I started a new habit- going to church. I got saved a little over a year later. I have been saved for 15 years and started the Butterflies Youth Ministry.”
Sandy had always has a passion for protecting kids. She told me about her dream and I helped her find the path to starting the Butterflies Youth Ministry. Sandy said, “I have a productive life now, one that I can be proud of. Wendy has been my angel. She is a game-changer a lifesaver. She will change your life for the better. During good times she is focused, dedicated, sets her mind on a target, and goes for it. She doesn’t give up. During hard times she can say hurtful words, her greatest gift can be her burden. Her words. She is a no-nonsense person. When she is angry with me, I usually know it.”
At one point during the interview, Sandy said she would describe my impact on her life with this word picture poem:
I was stuck in a deep dark hole.
A librarian saw me and said, “I’m going to throw you some books down there,” and then she continued walking by.
A doctor found me and said, “Here, take these pills,” and continued on his way.
A therapist walked over and said, “I’ll listen… take more pills,” and then left.
A pastor walks by and says, “I will pray for you,” and then kept going.
Wendy walked over and said, “Okay, I am going to get in the hole with you and I will show you how you can get out.”
Sandy ended the interview by saying, “What would I want Wendy to know? That I love her, she already knows that.”
One of the key thoughts that stood out to me from this interview and has brought reoccurring comfort was she knew I loved her and that I knew she loved me.
I am continually in awe and gratefulness for the gift of Sandy and the gift of our friendship. It keeps on giving beyond my imagination. And in the depth of my heart, as I do believe we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses, I believe she knows that today.
